MANAGING LIFE TRANSITIONS: Why me? Why now?

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." ~ Victor Frankel

Living is a process of adapting to change.  No one escapes this reality and everyone is vulnerable to the uncertainty change brings.

Many transitions we plan for ourselves.  But even changes that are positive and anticipated - going away to college, accepting a job promotion, marriage, purchasing a home, the birth of a child—can be diverted by surprises.  Unanticipated transitions can traumatize us—the death of a loved one, being downsized at work, serious illness, ending a relationship—events such as these may shake our foundations.

One objective of successful living is to resolve to adapt as best you can to whatever comes your way.  That spirit of resilience helps in restoring balance and serenity.  Learning to move through life's transitions, accepting setbacks and crisis, pursuing new opportunities in spite of adversity are ways we grow in wisdom.

Here are some coping skills to manage stress during a transitional event:

1. Resolve to adapt: Transition affects all life forms constantly.  When change impacts you, resolving to adapt helps you restore balance and live in harmony with the world around you.

2.  Express yourself.  Give yourself time to work through your feelings about the transitional event.  Grieve your losses, celebrate your joys and then focus on moving forward  with your life.

3. Don't panic. There is always time.  Take it.  Think.  Make plans. Explore  possibilities.   Share ideas and concerns with mentors.

4. Stay sober.  Alcohol and drugs  divert your focus, provide no solutions and prolong the discomfort.

5. Take care of yourself.  Stress can compromise your physical and mental states of wellness. Attention to diet, exercise, spiritual and mental health can help you restore yourself to balance.

Having a caring, competent professional to work with during a time of transition isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of taking caring of self. If you or someone you know is in need of support during a life transition, please call me to schedule an appointment. Let's talk one-on-one about how my coaching and therapy practice can serve you. I can be reached at my Uptown New Orleans office at 504-481-8997.

Dr. Eileen Wynne

PRACTICAL DREAMS: Are you facing failure or rejection? Look again. Perhaps it's actually opportunity you see.

"If one dream should break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick up one of those pieces and start again".  ~ Flavia

Sometimes, a dream as you first envision it doesn't work out for you.  Don't give up.  Re-evaluate that dream.  Perhaps you can adapt pieces of it into something just as rewarding.  Adaptation is a creative process, not a symbol of failure.  I call adaptation practical dreaming.  A dream that didn't work as you envisioned it may prove to be your greatest success.  From one broken dream you may discover a thousand more to pursue.

•••••

Here is a simple visualization to help you begin to reconstruct a dream.  Visualization techniques are most effective when you engage them daily.

Choose a quiet place.  Relax in a meditation position that is comfortable for you.  Close your eyes if you prefer.  

Begin to breathe - deeply, slowly, regularly.

Let yourself imagine....

Near you is a shimmering blanket of white light.  Reach out, feel its softness and warmth. Pull its protective layers around you.  Bury your face in its soft folds.  Inhale its warmth, lightness and comfort.  Inhale.  Feel the fibers moving into the farthest reaches of your being.  Exhale any dark clouds of discouragement, failure and self-doubt, any anger and negativity that distracts you from your purpose.

When you are relaxed and at peace with yourself, think about your original dream.  Imagine it breaking into pieces.

Select  one piece and set the rest aside for now.  Examine it carefully.  What attracted you to this segment?  Can you adapt it into a new beginning?  

What steps can you take today to build this practical dream? 

If you would like someone to help you construct or reconstruct the dreams you have for your life, contact me! My Life Coaching services can help you discover and live the dream life you desire! I currently have a limited number of spots available in my private therapy and coaching practice in Uptown New Orleans. You may call me to make an appointment at 504-481-8997.

Dr. Eileen Wynne 

 

Is This Your Defining Moment?

"Occasions for defining moments do not arise every day.  When they do, we must seize the opportunities they present for improving everyone's life."  Richard Pound

"Is This Your Defining Moment?" is a motivational video by Virginia Kravitz, founder of In the Current®, about the pivotal moment that occurs when you "go on record" and make a profound promise to yourself. (Special thanks to Jim Brickman for providing his inspirational music; his song, "Journey" has been used with permission.)

Give it a watch!

Can you name a defining moment in your life? Did it impact on the trajectory of your life?

Trajectories bring about transitions and transitions are neither positive or negative until you allow them to become positive or negative. 

Transitions are simply where one chapter of your life ends and a new chapter begins. Do you realize that YOU can become the author of YOUR transitions? Can you see the POWER in such a discovery about self?

As a licensed psychotherapist and certified life coach, I can help YOU become the author of the life you desire!

Contact me for more information. I have a limited number of openings in my private practice in Uptown New Orleans and I'd love to talk to you about how we can work together.

Phone: 504-481-8997.

Dr. Wynne

LIFE AFTER OZ: The Wizard You Need

"I know I'm not the Wizard you expected -- but I just might be the Wizard you need."

  -- The Wizard of Oz, 1939  (movie trailer)

Isn't synchronicity amazing?

There you are (as Auntie Em might say) 'worrying yourself into anemia'   over something you consider unfair or unsolvable and suddenly the solution is so simple, so clear you can't imagine how you missed it.  Suddenly you're tripping all over alternatives.

I believe life works best when the mind, the heart and the courage to act on our fears are in synchronicity.  As a package, they help keep us grounded in ourselves.  Favor one over the others and life tilts in unexpected ways.

One way we experience that tilt is when we give our power away.  That might be a simple process or a multi-layered one but it usually happens when we allow someone else to make important decisions for us.

Take Dorothy's case.  Everyone had advice for Dorothy about her fight with the cantankerous Miss Gulch:

Zeke told her to fight:  "Have a little courage, that's all.   ...Next time she squeaks walk right up and spit in her eye. That's what I'd do!"

Hunk opted for reason:  "Now look here, Dorothy.  You aren't using your head about Miss Gulch.  You'd think you didn't have any brains at all... When you come home don't go by Miss Gulch's place.  Then Toto won't get in her garden, and you won't get in trouble."

Dorothy knew that while Hunk's advice sounded reasonable on the surface it would only provoke Miss Gulch further.   Zeke's approach felt like giving in.  Miss Gulch was on a mission to control her and would find other ways.  Ultimately, Dorothy traveled from Kansas to the Land of Oz in search of answers. 

In their victory over the evil Witch of the West, Dorothy and her friends reclaim power over their own lives. The subsequent awards of courage, heart and brain they received from the Wizard of Oz restore the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Woodsman and the Scarecrow to balance.   

Dorothy learned the most important lesson of all:  She discovered she didn't need to seek help from The Wizard of Oz to solve her problems. The powerful Wizard she needed was herself.

As a therapist and a life coach, I often have the privilege of helping people discover their own power that rests within. If you would like to learn how I can help you tap into your inner power to become all that you are destined to be, please feel free to contact me.  I currently have a limited number of spots available in private therapy and coaching practice in Uptown New Orleans. You may call me to make an appointment at 504-481-8997.

LIFE AFTER OZ: I was petrified (but I did it anyway.)

"Frightened?  Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe ... I was petrified. " 

  -- The Wizard of Oz

None of us escape life's first- and last-time moments.  In large ways and small we encounter them repeatedly.  Births and deaths. Our very first day in the very first grade at school,  our very last day in the familiar halls of college.  Everyone takes those first steps into the adult world of work and relationships.  Some of us have to move beyond loss or injustice to find ourselves again.  Whatever challenges us, we can learn to appreciate the opportunities, that a new start  provides, even if beginning something new is scary.

The Premiere Balloonist for the Miracle Wonderland Carnival Company was petrified when his hot air balloon drifted beyond the reach of earth.  When he landed in Oz, the residents of the Emerald City gave the circus performer a royal title.  He became 'Oz, Wizard Deluxe!"  And as Oz explained to Dorothy, "Times being what they were, I accepted the job." 

Oz embraced his new role despite his fears and he adapted with remarkable inventiveness.  He even acquired some wisdom along the way.  In his final hours as Wizard of Oz he advised the Cowardly Lion:  "Being scared doesn't make you a coward, but not facing your fears does."

Pushing fear aside so that we can adapt and grow through our wins and our losses is a hallmark of successful living.

As therapist and life coach, I work with people daily who struggle but overcome the challenges that life throws at them.  If I can help you in such a struggle, I invite you to call for an appointment.  I currently have a limited number of openings in my private practice and you can reach me at 504-481-8997.

LESSONS FROM OZ: Feet are made for walking

"And remember, never let those ruby slippers off your feet for a moment or you will be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West."
Glinda, the Good Witch of the North

Have you ever thought about the power you have in your feet?

Our feet are engineered to move us in new directions - to act.  Action is a powerful tool we can use to solve our own problems. Action can take us away from adversity and toward our dreams. Action is integral to physical, mental and spiritual health.

It's an American childhood  tradition to watch Judy Garland's classic performance as Dorothy Gale in the 1939 movie, The Wizard of Oz. The story begins with action as Dorothy and her dog Toto, run through the Kansas farmlands to escape the evil Miss Gulch and later, race to escape a tornado.  Unable to escape the storm, Dorothy and Toto are swept into the maelstrom and dropped into the Land of OZ.  When she wonders aloud what direction she should go to find her way back to Kansas, it is the Scarecrow who advises Dorothy that the path to the left is the good, but the one to the right is equally fine.  It doesn't matter what direction she moves, It's the process of moving that's important.

It is Dorothy's feet that lead her toward companions of integrity: The  Cowardly Lion (Courage/Spirit).), The Scarecrow (Wisdom/Intellect) and Tin Woodsman (Love/Compassion).  Their journey together down the Yellow Brick Road  ultimately leads them, one step at a time, to their destinies.  During the process, a life lesson Dorothy learns that it is the feet she has encased in ruby slippers themselves, that contain the power she needs to reach her dream.  Dorothy wants to find home and clicking the heels of those ruby shoes gets her there - but it is her feet that perform the action.

Don't know where you are today? Who you are today?  Make a change.  One small step forward, backward or to the side adjusts the hard reality of where you are at this moment. Each small step can start a chain reaction that reaches a dream.  Ultimately the direction in which you step doesn't matter.  All steps are positive actions towards dreams.

How do you know what will happen? You don't, and no one else does, either,  But oh, the adventures you will miss if you do not try!  Action is it's own victory.  Be confident, like Dorothy, that your own actions and your personal companions of integrity - Lions for  (Courage/Spirit), Scarecrows for (Wisdom/Intellect) and Tin Woodsmen for (Love/Compassion) - will help you direct your feet in the way they should go.

Helping You Become All That You Can Be!

My name is Eileen Wynne and I'm a licensed psychotherapist (LA LCSW) and life coach and it is my pleasure to welcome you to my blog!

Let me tell you a little bit about what I do. I've been providing psychotherapy to clients in my private practice and in hospital and university settings for over two decades. I help individuals resolve crisis situations, develop more effective ways to cope and gain resilience and ultimately, help my clients to achieve their goals. I am passionate about this work and I have helped many people change their lives for the better.

I believe that all of us have the ability to make our lives as rich and full as we want them to be. Coaching and therapy can be resources that help you get what you want out of life--in your relationships, work and dreams.

One of the areas I specialize in is in helping individuals cope with life transitions--those times of life that often seem difficult, painful, frightening and/or confusing. I have extensive experience in working with university student and young adults on a multitude of issues including anxiety, depression, grief, relationships, career challenges and more.

Regardless of your age, background or challenges you can improve your problem-solving skills, build an internal support system, heighten self-esteem and enhance your creativity and it would be my pleasure to assist you in doing so.

I hope you'll return to my blog often and allow me to share with you some of the wisdom I've gained over my years of practice is psychotherapy, counseling and coaching.

I also invite you to check out my website at www.eileenwynnephd.com and follow me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/eileenwynnephd) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/eileenwynnephd).